Sam

At night, I often toss and turn, unable to sleep, with countless thoughts tugging at my mind. No matter what, I still have to face the coming of dawn. Confronting one challenge after another, the only thing I can do is quiet myself and face them head-on.

The Mi-Ma-Yang exhibition is nearing its end, and I am deeply grateful for the care, support, and help from so many senior masters and good friends. This exhibition represents another step forward compared to the relay exhibition in May.

But I have no time to rest, because the upcoming exhibition at the Kaohsiung Cultural Center in January will be another major test. I am gradually adjusting my creative concepts and artistic philosophy, and my vision for my work has become increasingly clear. I will devote myself even more fully to the world of art. The path toward solitude draws nearer, but I must let go and accept it. This is a road with no return.

Last night while watching TV, there happened to be a feature about singer A-Lin. In her 16 years since debuting, her songs have become famous, but she herself has not. She has been nominated for the Golden Bell Awards five times, yet has never won. At a time when she was feeling discouraged, she was invited to participate in a singing competition in mainland China. Faced with emotional lows and an unfamiliar audience, her initial performances did not meet expectations.

It wasn’t until her family told her to approach everything with a calm heart—and even went on stage to perform as her backup dancers—that something changed. Singing A-Mei’s song “Once I Think of You (一想到你呀)”, she relaxed. Wearing simple Indigenous clothing from her hometown, barefoot, without elaborate makeup or jewelry, she reconnected with the pure joy of singing she had known since childhood. She let go. On stage, she sang and danced freely, infecting the entire audience with her energy. The crowd reached its peak of excitement, and she finally earned the recognition of both the audience and the judges. That moment touched me deeply.

It is the same with painting. If an artist paints only with the intention of selling, the work that emerges will be completely different.

Over a decade ago, I abandoned everything to enter the insurance industry, hoping to train my communication skills, even though I never loved that line of work—it was just for earning a living. At age fifty, I gave up all my jobs once again, this time for painting. And now, I know very clearly what I want. Even if I have no income at all—even if I must work part-time in another field or rely on the modest pay from teaching—I will continue creating. I will persist for the sake of my lifelong dream, my true calling.

I have rediscovered my original intention, and I will paint the images and ideas I genuinely wish to express.

夜、總是輾轉難眠、絲絲牽掛。不管如何還是要面對黎明的來臨。面對一次次的考驗，只能靜下心來面對。米馬羊展覽的即將落幕了，非常感謝許多前輩大師、好朋友的愛護提攜、支持與幫忙。這一次的展出比五月份藝術家接力展的作品又更進了一步。不過我的腳步沒時間停歇，因為一月份的高雄文化中心展覽又是一大考驗。我正一步一步的調整自己的創作想法與理念。對於自己創作的想法越來越清晰了，我將更專注在藝術的領域。離孤獨的路也將更近了，也只能放下心並接受它。這是一條沒有回頭的路。

昨天晚上看電視時剛好報導歌手A-lin,他出道16年歌紅、人不紅。入圍金鐘五次，但卻沒有有一次獲獎。正當灰心之際，大陸的歌手比賽邀請他過去。而面對心情的低盪以及自己大陸不同的觀眾。上場的表現不如預期。直到一次他的家人告訴他平常心看待。他的家人和她一起上台扮演舞群，她以一首張惠妹的歌曲 一想到你呀 放鬆了心，沒太多裝扮及珠寶項鏈裝飾。穿著家鄉原住民的衣服，打著赤腳。找到了從小喜歡唱歌的原心。她放開了。在舞台上開心的又唱又跳整個現場氣氛受他感染。嗨到了極點。終於獲得所有的觀眾以及評審的認同。

我看到這一幕非常的感動。這如同繪畫的人，如果一心只想著要賣畫。他畫的作品所呈現的將是不同的畫面。我在十幾年前曾經放棄一切踏入保險業，為的是訓練自己的口才而當初做保險並不是我愛的行業只是為了賺錢。50歲那年我又為了畫畫放棄了所有的工作。這一次我很清楚的知道自己要的是什麼。這一次我知道即使完全沒有收入，即使我要到別的行業打工或者是靠教學的微簿薪水維持生計。我都會堅持創作下去，為的是我今生的理想，我的本命。找到我的初心，畫出我想表達的畫面想法。